White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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