No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
