just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
