My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
