you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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