so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
