She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
