New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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