it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
