We're facebook friends in real life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
