i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
