the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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