My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
