I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize