we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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