okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Randomize
