well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
