I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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