the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
