Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
