I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
