Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
