she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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