So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize