I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up under a house in Key West
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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