why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
