The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
