i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
