you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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