If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
