How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
