they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
