you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
