I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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