Whod you bang
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize