I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
