Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
