I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
