Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize