she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
