Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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