I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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