So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
