i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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