I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
