loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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