my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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