2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
