hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
