I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
