one might say we're banned from that church
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
