I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
