Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
