i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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