I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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