I heard we made out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
