all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The struggles of a small town man whore
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dear god my vagina.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
