dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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