Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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