You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Im part way to drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
