dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
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apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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