direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
