yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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