I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
